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Ian

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[08 Jun 2009|04:28pm]
hey, so i've got a bit of a cold now, figures, on the first day i'm supposed to have started my job. so i'm working at, yes, the great corporate golden arches now (if you don't know what company i'm referring to, ask a friend, surely someone you know has heard of them). it's just to make some money for now so that i can move on with my life. anyway, i got there at 6:15 and it turns out my uniform is still not in yet so i couldn't start work. ugh, i need to find a way to get on the payroll so i can start paying back rent! as well as actually make a little pocket money so i could for example actually go out to the movies or to eat for a change. it's depressing not being able to do stuff like that with only two dollars to my name..
i called ana yesterday and though she was at work and said she'd call me back, it was so nice to just hear her voice. i look forward to talking to her again soon, perhaps tonight.
i was listening to a friend of mines home recordings that he recently did at a friends house and it got me to thinking i really need to record soon. i'm itching to get some of my songs, actually like documented, perhaps up online too. even though the recording is pretty low quality (hey, it worked for sebadoh) it would still be cool nonetheless. as well, the few times i've recorded, i can get the sound to come out pretty well, so i think it would be alright.
it would be cool to get some of my friends on here. i mean, i've got a couple, including ana, who have accounts but they stopped using theres around the same time as me. it seems like everyone stopped using this at the same time back in 2006..
but it would just be nice to be able to see what other people are up to and get some feedback and whatnot, ya know?
anyway, this cold is annoying me, especially being in the library and all. hopefully it will pass very soon.
ciao ciao!
1 people rock my socks |Too Cool For School

[03 Jun 2009|04:00pm]
so i didn't end up playing my music last nite, due to time complications with my friend who was picking me up and whatnot. we ended up renting the will ferrell and john c. reilly movie "step brothers" which was actually really funny. there's a hysterical scene where they build a bunk-bed and reilly jumps on the top bunk and it crushes will underneath and he's yelling "oh my god! this is really bad!" i remember when i was at friends houses for sleepovers always wanting the top bunk. it was clearly the better bed, because the whole magic of the bunk-bed was the fact that you were higher up, almost like floating above everything on some secret plain. it's funny thinking of sleep-overs now. i mean, at my age, a sleep-over would consist of us partying until the person was too tired to go back to there dorm or too drunk or whatever to drive home. it's somewhat peculiar thinking that we'd find so much joy in just sitting in sleeping bags in the bedroom (or basement or wherever we found it the most fun to stay up all night in) and just talking all night. the irony of the sleep-over was that it hardly consisted of any actual sleeping.
anyway, today i got a haircut for the first time in about six months, and the last haircut i had was by my own hands (i actually do a pretty decent job). it's pretty darn short for me but it will grow back fairly quick, but it will feel good not to have such thick and long hair in this grossly humid weather. it was funny, the stylist kept commenting on how thick my hair was and he was having trowuble running a comb through it and he said "i'm gonna need a rake" and then he called over this other stylist and was like "feel his hair" and she was like "oooh wow! you have such great hair!" it was funny.
i'm listening to deerhunter's latest (came out last year) album "microcastle/weird era cont." on pitchfork and it's really good. i love pitchfork's new feature which streams all the new music (and any older music) so i can just listen to an album while i'm browsing the internet. it's a really good way for me to somewhat keep up with the new music coming out. it's weird having not bought a new album in over six months, especially not being able to update my ipod with any new music.
i have to run and catch the bus back now so i shall write soon.
Too Cool For School

[02 Jun 2009|02:47pm]
so tonight i'm gonna play some new songs at open mic (and if i have time, seeing as the lady who runs it is a control freak, an older song that people really enjoy "a year on the line"). i think it will be a lot of fun. i'm gonna be playing about a half hour or so before it starts getting busier so more than likely only a handful of people will be there but it will be nice to perform music in front of people again. anyway, i'm gonna perform the following songs:

"jessica"

jessica, don't you know
i'll be there for you through the rain and snow
and if the sun decides to never shine
i'll still be waiting with a rhyme
and when you're feeling so alone
i'll kiss your skin and touch your bones
through the good and all the bad
i promise not to be another passing fad

you're a tangerine
a beauty queen
a bright full moon
a whistled tune
with a silhouette
so hard to forget
your sweet nothings
that i can sing

jessica, don't you know
we can take it fast or we can take it slow
i'll hold you close for me to taste
all the beauty that other seem to waste
and when you don't like what you see
i promise there is no one else you have to be
and when you don't like what you see
i promise, now, forever, i will never leave

you're a tangerine
a beauty queen
a bright full moon
a whistled tune
with a silhouette
so hard to forget
your sweet nothings
that i can sing



"funny summer nights"

remember all those funny summer nights
start off innocent but always end under dim lights
(under dim lights)
i don't think we ever really called them dates
i bet you wanted to hear the words but i would make you wait
(i'd always make you wait)
it was so much easier when we could pretend
this is just what you do when you're good friends
(good-looking friends)
at least that's the way it seemed to me
then again, was i ever once thinking clearly
(i was once thinking clearly)

remember all those funny summer nights
all the touching and the tickle fights
when i'd finally grab you and kiss you first
that scene was always so well rehearsed

remember all those funny summer nights
start off innocent but always end under dim lights
(under dim lights)
we used to make drinking games of candyland
until neither one of us could really stand
(i couldn't stand it)
you'd dress like a girl at catholic school
just to see what the hell i would do
(you knew what i would do)
i can't count the times i'd kiss you on the neck
while we drank wine and listened to some beck
(listened to some beck)

remember all those funny summer nights
all the touching and the tickle fights
when i'd finally grab you and kiss you first
that scene was always so well rehearsed



"not tonight"

it's saturday night and i'm alone again
who knew the good fight was so hard to defend
i'm out on the porch singing my songs
not knowing what for but i could be wrong

i could be right, but not tonight
my voice is sore, need something more
doesn't seem right, no not tonight
here by myself, need something else

someone that i miss just isn't coming back
it makes me sick, all that i lack
i held her close on the better days
much closer than most, now it's all gone to waste

it's real dark out here trying to stay clean
and i've got this fear i'm missing the meaning
now i'm losing touch of how to find joy
it gets so tough just being a boy

i could be right, but not tonight
my voice is sore, need something more
doesn't seem right, no not tonight
here by myself, need something else
Too Cool For School

[01 Jun 2009|02:44pm]
i'm working on a new song and i feel like putting the lyrics on here, because sometimes it helps me see the song as a whole on a screen than just as scribbles in my notebook. i wrote the song on my acoustic the other day, this is another song that would sound awesome on electric with a full band, but for now i'll be playing it solo. as with my previous song "secret friend", which i played at open mic a few months ago, which i wrote on acoustic and which sounded good live but would sound even better electric with drums and everything, i'll probably test this one out in a week or so. my friend mike just called me up today who i haven't hungout with in a couple months and he suggested we could go to koffeeokee tomorrow night where open mic is so i'll probably play tomorrow night.
anyway, the song needs maybe a bridge or another guitar part but this is it so far (roughly):

i must confess, i'd settle with less
because anything is better, than being with myself
so now i know how you must feel
left me scratching at your heels
how can i let myself feel
scathing over bruising heels

when we'd go out, and hold onto the stars
i knew we wouldn't, make it past march
but i was naive, and tried anyway
because all we had, was just today
the last time i saw you, was valentine's day
it's been five years, and i'm still not okay

i'm writing like it happened last week
because last night i saw you again in my sleep
now i know how you must feel
left me scratching at your heels
how can i let myself feel
scathing over bruising heels
Too Cool For School

[cont.] [30 May 2009|03:13pm]
[continued from last post from a few days ago...
ah, the pains of living in south florida without a computer riding the bus to the library to use the internet and then getting signed off half-way through a journal post due to time-limit restraints..]

anyway, yeah, it's weird. i was going through my friends list on here just to see what people have been up to but like, no one else still uses lj anymore (coincidentally, pretty much everyone stopped using it in 2006 as well...it's like, we all started on here around the same time and grew up and moved on around the same time) except this one girl who posted a recent post, and even that was almost like a final goodbye and about growing up.

so here i am, back on here. it's really sad in a way. i don't mean in the "oh that's so sad that you're acting like a highschooler again". i mean it in a, i'm back on here to somehow find a connect with people again, but even here, everyone's gone. it's funny that i just assumed everyone would still be doing the same stuff when i left. like, at the time when i left, i had moved on with my life. i don't know why i would assume everyone else wouldn't as well. maybe it's some sort of comfort thing, just being naive still and assuming everything will be just the way you left it. i think that's how it's always been for me, with people and places and whatever else. that it will all be just the way i imagined it before and i will be welcomed back with open arms just as i had hoped. no matter what's happened in my life, really there's only been one person who's been there for me no matter how long we've been distant in whatever way from each other for long. my best friend ana, whom i met when i was i believe 13, so about a decade ago (wow, it's crazy that it's been that long, seems so much longer when it's written down!). we've had weeks or months go by without really communicating for whatever reason but when one of us calls the other up or whatever after that long apart it's just like it was before, so easy to just start talking again like we picked up on a conversation from where we left off.
Too Cool For School

first entry since...2006? [27 May 2009|01:36pm]
wow, it's been forever since i've been on here. i just finished reading andy greenwald's (writer for spin magazine) "nothing feels good: punk rock, teenagers, and emo" which talked a bit about livejournal and the emo culture which go hand in hand. anyway, it made me feel nostalgic and want to get back on here...so here i am. (we'll see how long this lasts, i'm guessing a day).

coincidentally, when i clicked on my friends pages (not that i really know any of these mostly internet friends i've made anymore since i haven't kept in touch via lj or aim or whatever) the latest (and only recent) entry was from someone who just graduated college a few days ago (congratulations!!! if you're reading this, which you're probably not) and one of the first things she said was "when i started this thing i was a naive, emo sophomore in high school. and now...look where i'm at." it's funny hearing that just after finishing reading the last chapter of nothing feels good which is about lj and how fitting that is...i mean, i was a naive emo kid in the middle of highschool when i first started this livejournal. of all the time i spent away from it, i come back, and there's an entry about moving on in life in a few spare lines that so perfectly fits what was said at the end of the book i was reading.

...and then there's, ironically?, me.

(is this where the emo part kicks in?)

here i am, reading and getting back into, or at least re-visiting my emo phase from highschool and realize just how much i've fucked-up my own life compared with those around me. everyone's moving on. even my lj friends that are supposed to be around forever because
2 people rock my socks |Too Cool For School

[10 Nov 2006|01:50am]
where did everyone go?

i feel almost like i did at home...

i used to have so many friends here...

what am i gonna do with my life?

i am an art student but i was never great at art.

i want to be a song-writer for a living but i don't know if people will love it or not...

life is too unbearable, it really is.
Too Cool For School

[25 Sep 2006|10:40am]
6:52:43 AM whydid7ate9: i was goingto and then i went out to friends but that wasnt till like 12ish bc we originally talkeed last nite bout hangingout tonite and she got out of rehearsel late like 11:30 give or take 15 mins , and so it was late 2 begin with and i took a shower next and then i was chillin and then i finally went and the movie went by like 1 1/2 hrs [twas excellent movie i have 'punchdrunk love'] and then we were just talkin and stuff and i decided i could not get up 4 my 8:30 class but ill sleep in ad hit up my 3:20 class after movie on couch for a while PART 2: so then i was like damn its late but ill just skip it and have nice breakfast and be ready for my class and hey i better have that night cap, so poured final shot of rum for evening and was chilling and doing more sketches for my design class tomorrw at 8:20 (since i was searching for things to do since i was going till pull an "All NiteR") so after that i was like, just taking funny notes for class (by funny i do mean funny like adding funny commenttary comments), oh before tgat just smoked two bowls (they were small tho but second one got me basically due to fact i havent been smokingin past week and half and havent been smoking lot lately / hey ive had some drinks and the bowl was perfect combination for afterwards) and...so wait i forglot why i was writing this, nono wait yeah because i decided to stay up because of those reasons, 1 (maybe-probably more) one could say 'it just happened man'. so in abour 15 mins or so hes like thinking gonna smoke a bowl (possibly not tho depending if he wants to or not cuz hes great right now and then eat breakfas6 or go eat breakfast, just
Too Cool For School

[07 Jul 2006|10:23pm]
he asked me "why do you keep licking your lips?" i responded with "don't you like the guitar?" i was sampling music for my father, at the moment "trespassers william" was playing and we had been playing a few games of ping pong before that. he beat me, two games to one. about an hour ago i drank an eight ounce bottle of robitusson. the effects start tocome on at about two hours for me. that's when slurred speech begins atleast. which brings me back to his question about the lips, i was dry-mouthed from the cough syrup and he may have asked me this in the past, on a certain occasion when he knew i was doing robitussin. so i diverted his attention with the question about the guitar in the music. it worked. i took a sip of water. he liked some of the less avant-garde radiohead, but he'd have to be in the mood for it he said. he really liked rilo kiley as well as trespassers william. i have about fourty minutes or so before i start acting weird and i hope he'll be hitting the bag by then. it's hard to tell sometimes. you have to carefully plan when you are going to trip because of the parentals. not so much my mom though. if she came down to the basement, where i always stay when tripping, she'll just be saying goodnight and i'll give her a quick "night" and that's that. sometimes my dad will start asking questions though, which can lead to problems. nothing immediate that night, but the next day he'll bring up the conversation and how i was acting weird like a zombie. he always uses the word "zombie". i guess i am when i'm trippin and he's all serious because i get all tense and my eyes are big and i'm just staring ahead trying to keep my cool but it never really works and i guess it just makes me look like a zombie. when he's asleep and i'm tripping by myself i'm doing all the usual stuff and then some, and i am not like a zombie in the least bit. well, except for the eyes, but come on, i can't help it.
Too Cool For School

first colorsplash lomo rolls [29 Jun 2006|11:22pm]

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Too Cool For School

[24 Apr 2006|10:23pm]
for the life of me
i could not clearly see
all the lights surrouding me
oh the dark that blinded me

my foolish antics
i guess its just for kicks
sad or bitter take your pick
the cycle seems a bit sick
1 people rock my socks |Too Cool For School

[19 Jul 2004|08:19pm]
20 people rock my socks |Too Cool For School

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